The Well Balanced Life

Do you remember the Saturday Night Live skit where William Shatner told Star Trek fans to get a life? We value productivity in society, and as much as Star Trek has inspired great thoughts, sitting around in your parents' basement watching Star Trek episodes is not the most productive way to spend one's time. But we shouldn't just pick on, and completely devalue, the stereotype of the nerdy Star Trek fan who takes the series a little too seriously. Nerds make a big difference in the world. My new favorite television show is The Big Bang Theory. It's a funny sitcom where a bunch of nerds at Caltech dream about having a more well rounded life. In their defense, they may not get to date cheerleaders, but they are making a contribution to society, or to science at least. As much as it is ideal that people have a well-rounded life, there is honor in making sacrifices for the greater good. But a well-rounded life is valued in society and for good reason: A well-rounded life is psychologically healthy.

There are times when it is necessary to make sacrifices and focus all your energy on a single goal. An Olympic athlete trains for years. Professionals, such as lawyers and physicians, spend many years studying hard to meet high standards required to gain licensure. Without a single-minded focus, they would never achieve their goals. According to Bill Lipschutz, this kind of "insane focus" characterizes phenomenal traders as well. In his interview with Alpesh Patel in The Mind of a Trader, Mr. Lipschutz observes, "Brilliance, intelligence and education and the desire to make money will lead to success. But to be a phenomenon, talent and industry are key." According to Mr. Lipschutz, "the very best traders don't take a lot of time off. They don't want to." But at the same time, he wonders, "Do they need to recharge? Well, you know what, when I was younger I thought 'no.' A lot of things happen when you're younger and newer to the game that you don't really realize because you have this kind of energy and your experience bank is less full. You don't understand that to recharge may help you do it even better."

Olympic athletes are not superstars forever. Similarly, professional athletes have their prime and then they retire. So spending one's youth building up skills makes sense since there is a "critical period" in life to make one's mark. That said, as much as ambitious over-achievers like to define themselves by their work, it may not be wise. Don't put all your eggs in one basket when it comes to how you define yourself. It's psychologically important to define ourselves in many different ways, for example, as a friend, spouse, parent, or community leader. The number of roles you may hold in your life is endless. Each role should be part of your self-concept. Different aspects of your self-concept can protect your self-esteem when faced with stressful events. In one research study, for example, participants with multi-faceted self-concepts were better able to cope with stress, depression, and illness. In addition, they were better able to control their emotions. When people have multi-faceted self-concepts, they are less prone to extreme variations in emotions. Their emotions remain relatively stable, rather than rapidly rising and falling. Why? People with a multi-faceted self-concept have alternative views of themselves, so when failure is encountered in one aspect of their lives, they can find consolation in the fact that another aspect of their life is still going well. For example, when faced with a major professional setback, you may find solace in knowing that you are still a loving parent or a caring friend.

You will never be able to maintain a winning mental edge if you put pressure on yourself, but that's what you are doing when you define yourself completely by your professional aspirations. It may wise to put in the necessary hard work to achieve your goals, but your career identity should be just one part of a multi-faceted life.