Success in life can often be a matter of being at the right place at the right time. In the United States, we prefer to hear stories (which are often myths) of people who live the American dream, but that does not mean that chance plays some role in one’s success. Sure, successful people had to work hard and have unique talent and skills, but there are many people who have the characteristics to become a superstar, yet live in obscurity because they were at the wrong place at the wrong time. Anyone who takes an honest, hard look at success knows that luck plays some role, and thus, when one beats the odds and obtains success, it’s easy to feel like an impostor, as if he or she was merely at the right place at the right time.
I’ve been enjoying Mad Men every Sunday night. The main character is Don Draper, a successful creative director at a Madison Avenue advertizing firm. He is attractive, hard working and successful, but in some ways he is an imposter. During the war, Dick (his real name) traded places with his commanding officer (the real Don Draper) who was killed and disfigured after an explosion. Dick isn’t really Don Draper but pretends he is. But who is he? Dick may not be the real man named Don Draper but he is responsible for his own success. He has an astute intuition of how consumers’ minds work, and he uses these insights to creatively develop the campaigns that sell products. He is indeed the attractive man who married a beautiful woman, had two children, and provides a nice home in the suburbs. Yet he lives the life of an impostor, hiding his past from his wife, children and friends.
Even people who do not assume another person’s identify feels like an imposter at times. When one is riding high, it’s easy to convince yourself that you are invincible, but at times of stress and disappointment, it’s easy to believe one is an imposter and that one’s past success was merely a matter of chance.
It may be fun to think one’s success is all about you. But again, no matter who you are, there was an element of chance in one’s success. No matter how hard you worked and want to pat yourself on the back for achieving success, there was some luck involved. A teacher may have taken an interest in you and encouraged you in school, for example, or little did you know, you may have won an award or promotion occasionally out of sheer luck.
But success is not all luck, and it is vital to remember this fact. No matter how much luck was involved in your success, part of it was due to some characteristic that you possess.
If there are times you feel like an imposter, it may have to do with your past life experiences and the messages you received while growing up. Society, close friends, or parents often give people the message that they are not worthy of success. For example, members of ethnic minority groups may have been given a societal message that they are not allowed to seek high status jobs. Women may have heard a similar message in which they are told to seek out only traditional female occupations, or people from blue-collar neighborhoods may have been told they cannot move into white-collar jobs. Although these barriers exist, they can be overcome through dedication and hard work. People who often feel like an imposter overcome these and other barriers, but they underestimate their contributions and believe that success was a matter of pure chance. Despite their success, they still believe that societal messages they heard in their childhood are true and that they have gone to a place where they should not have gone. These prior beliefs haunt them. They tend to secretly wait for their success to come to an end.
Maintaining success is difficult if you do not believe you deserve it. Do you feel like an imposter? Do you feel that you do not belong in the occupation you have chosen? If the answer is yes, make sure you gain awareness of your feelings and find a resolution. On the one hand, it’s useful to admit that to some extent luck plays a role in success. But on the other hand, it’s useful to remember that hard work and talent plays a role as well. The more you take a balanced approach by accounting for luck and external circumstances but also knowing exactly how you personally contribute, the easier it will be to achieve a winning mental edge.
