Looking for the Bright Side

Cultivating a winning mental edge requires you to take setbacks in stride. Every cloud has a silver lining, and it's useful to continually look for the bright side. When you look for the bright side, you feel better after encountering a setback. But it's harder than it looks for some people. Some people don't take setbacks in stride. Instead, they mull over them.

According to psychotherapist Albert Ellis, many people hold the belief, "It is awful and terrible when things are not the way one would very much like them to be." As children, parents may have allowed us to have things our way, but eventually we learned that we could not have everything that we wanted. Unfortunately, many people continue to hold the belief that it is awful, terrible, and even unbearable when things do not go as planned. It may be unpleasant, but it is not awful or terrible. Indeed, when things don't go our way, there may even be a bright side.

Suppose you did not get the promotion at work that you wanted, you could look at it as awful, but there is probably a silver lining if you look hard enough. Promotions usually mean more work and responsibility, which can be psychologically stressful. In addition, a new job may mean there is less leisure time. When one does not receive a promotion, it is useful to think, "at least I will have more time to spend with my family and friends."

That said, there are some events where it is difficult to see the bright side. It’s difficult to find the bright side when a loved one is hurt, for example. But even a setback like a theft can be seen as positive in some respect. It may be useful to remember to focus on spiritual issues rather than material possessions.

Not everything will go your way and it’s vital to expect setbacks. A setback may be disappointing, but it is not awful or terrible. Most setbacks have a bright side and if you can learn to identify that bright side, then you will take setbacks in stride and focus on what you need to do to succeed.