“Man looks into the abyss. There’s nothing staring back at him. At that moment man finds his character, and that’s what keeps him out of the abyss.” What a great line from “Wall Street.” It’s worth repeating and elaborating, since it reflects a key idea in the struggle to achieve a peak performance mindset.
The literature on reaching peak performance has been influenced by Abraham Maslow’s studies of self-actualization. Originally studied by Carl Jung, self-actualization is a tendency for self-fulfillment and a desire to reach one’s potential. But people tend to get stuck psychologically. Rather than look inward, they look outward for definition. They care what others think. They try to please their parents, spouses, bosses, and friends. This often leads to a state of denial and stagnation. People try to seek out glory, money, status or fame. Self-actualizing people, in contrast, accept themselves, and go their own way. That’s why the quotation from “Wall Street” is so powerful. It reflects a basic human motive to look inward and find oneself.
Going your own way is difficult. Most people are not used to going their own way. Indeed, many institutions encourage people to conform and label people who go their own way as “rebels,” “selfish,” and even as “sinners.” From an existential point of view, however, there’s nothing wrong with going your own way or living your life according to your own values as long as you don’t hurt anyone else, so don't be afraid to go your own way. In the end, it's the only way you will find your winning mental edge.
2 comments:
Excellent post. Interestingly enough, this is a subject I have been pondering for the past few weeks and, most intensely, this weekend. People who build self-esteem from the outside in instead of inside out (addicted to praise).
I wonder if I'm too old to "go my own way" or if age never matters in self-actualization (though death bed self-actualization sounds somewhat unsatisfying). How do I handle the isolation that surely would follow (if only temporary)?
Hmmm...
Keith,
Sure, age will make some difference, but it can be both positive and negative. It's possible that some older people have gained enough life experience that they have stopped caring what other people think. On the other hand, it's hard to change a lifetime pattern of defining oneself by what others think. In the end, striving for self-actualization is a process that takes time. It requires insight into your values and what you would truly like to become. If you can decide what you want and are willing to take whatever steps are necessary to achieve it, you are on your way toward achieving self actualization. That said, going your own way may seem to alienate some people. Some people do not appreciate people who go their own way, but Fritz Perls was an existential psychotherapist that had a great perspective regarding this issue. To paraphrae, "I'm not in this world to please you and you are not in this world to please me. If we find each other and connect, that's wonderful. If not, then not." It may seem selfish and isolating to live life in this way, but it probably turns out that when you are genuine and seek out self-actualizing needs, you are happier, relate to people more authentically, and when you take this stance, you will find that people want to relate to you. Not that I have ever achieved this state of being, but I believe that the more you can achieve this state of mind and experience, the more you end up achieving happiness. Thanks for the comment.
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